Parents of Murdered Children

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <A HREF="http://thecompassionatefriends.org" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://thecompassionatefriends.org"><U><IMG SRC="0c39f2b0.gif" border=0 width="159" height="43" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id38_we_need_not_walk_aone.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Library list of books in our collection"><U><B>Grief Support After the Death of a Child</B></U></A><B> </B><A HREF="id38_we_need_not_walk_aone.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Library list of books in our collection"><U><B>Minnesota</B></U></A> <A NAME="top_of_homepage"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id15.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Minneapolis Chapter"><U><B>Minneapolis Minnesota Chapter of The Compassionate Friends</B></U></A><B> </B></div> <div> <A HREF="index_maps_1_1.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Minneapolis Chapter of The Compassionate"><U><B><U>map to our meeting</U></B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.compassionatefriends.org/states.shtml" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.compassionatefriends.org/stat"><U><B>Click to the National Chapter to find your own TCF </B></U></A></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <A HREF="id3_alexandria_mn_.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Twin Cities area Minnesota Chapters"><U>Other Minnesota Chapters</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.compassionatefriends.org/links.shtml" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.compassionatefriends.org/link"><U><B>National TCF Websites</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.tcf.org.uk/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.tcf.org.uk/"><U><B>TCF United Kingdom</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.tcfcanada.net/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.tcfcanada.net/"><U><B>TCF Canada</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id51_my_thoughts.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Songs Memories Music from the Heart"><U>Thoughts and program "Songs & Memories - Music from the Hear</U></A>t </div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.compassionatefriends.org/nat_regional_confs.shtml" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.compassionatefriends.org/nat_"><U><B>TCF Regional Conferences</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id38_book.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Library list of books in our collection"><U><B><IMG SRC="1bb23320.jpg" border=0 width="35" height="50" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A><B>  </B></div> <div> <A HREF="id20.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Thoughts and Poetry"><U><B>Poetry, Thoughts, & Expressions</B></U></A></div> <div> <B>L</B><A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/mrindianajonesprm/encourage.html" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.geocities.com/mrindianajonesp"><U><B>ink to Encouragement</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.compassionatefriends.org/Affirmations/Fall01/title_page.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.compassionatefriends.org/Affi"><U><B>Link to Affirmations</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id42_the_angel_of_lost_children.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Angel of Hope in Maple Grove "><U><B>The Angel of Hope </B></U></A></div> <bR> <div>  <A NAME="tcf_credo"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Impact" ><A HREF="id38_we_need_not_walk_aone.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Library list of books in our collection"><U><U>TCF Credo</U></U></A></FONT></div> <div> <A HREF="http://thecompassionatefriends.org" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://thecompassionatefriends.org"><U><I><B><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700dc00000000.png" HEIGHT="15" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">link to the National TCF Chapter</U></B></I></U></A></div> <div> <B>Minneapolis Chapter of The Compassionate Friends</B></div> <div> <B>c/o Calvary Lutheran Church</B></div> <div> <B>7520 Golden Valley Road</B></div> <div> <B>Minneapolis, MN 55427-4506</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <A HREF="the_compassionate_friends_minneapolis.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="About us"><U><B><IMG SRC="0d5707a0.gif" border=0 width="112" height="122" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id38_book.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Library list of books in our collection"><U><B><IMG SRC="1b738500.jpg" border=0 width="56" height="80" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.compassionatefriends.org/new_chapter.shtml" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.compassionatefriends.org/new_"><U><B>How to form a TCF Chapter</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.compassionatefriends.org/Brochures/brochures.shtml" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.compassionatefriends.org/Broc"><U><B>TCF Brochures</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.compassionatefriends.org/grieflinks.shtml" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.compassionatefriends.org/grie"><U><B>Other Grief Resources</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.webhealing.com/1grief.html" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.webhealing.com/1grief.html"><U><B>Interactive Resources</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.compassionatefriends.org/press_release_archives.shtml" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.compassionatefriends.org/pres"><U><B>Press Releases</B></U></A></div> <div>  <A NAME="bottom_of_left_home_page"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A><A HREF="id46.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Support Resources"><U><B><IMG SRC="1be6a6c0.gif" border=0 width="106" height="108" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="the_compassionate_friends_minneapolis_origin_of_the_compassionate_friends.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="About us"><U>origin of TCF</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="index_top_of_homepage.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Minneapolis Chapter of The Compassionate"><U><U>top of this side</U></U></A></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" ><B>Minneapolis Chapter of The Compassionate Friends</B></FONT>    |     <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Minneapolis Chapter of The Compassionate"><U>home</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id22.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="About this site: "><U>About this site: </U></A>   |   <A HREF="id47.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="TCF National Conference "><U>TCF National Conference </U></A>   |   <A HREF="id42.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Angel of Hope in Maple Grove "><U>Angel of Hope in Maple Grove </U></A>   |   <A HREF="angel_page.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Angel page"><U>Angel page</U></A>   |   <A HREF="grace.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Missing GRACE "><U>Missing GRACE </U></A>   |   <B>Parents of Murdered Children</B>   |   <A HREF="news___books.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="News and Books"><U>News and Books</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id73.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="News Archive"><U>News Archive</U></A></div> <div> Parents of Murdered Children</div> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Minneapolis Chapter of The Compassionate"><U>home</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Parents of Murdered Children</div> <bR> <div> This "Survivors" newsletter is issued 3 times per year.  POMC survivors deal with their grief and with the criminal justice system.</div> <bR> <div> Parents of Murdered Children</div> <div> 100 E 8th Street B-41</div> <div> Cincinatti, OH 45202</div> <div> 888-818-7662</div> <bR> <div> National site:  <A HREF="http://www.pomc.org/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.pomc.org/"><U>http://www.pomc.org/</U></A></div> <bR> <div> Twin Cities:   651-484-0336</div> <bR> <div> Here are exerpts from an article about the organization, "Parents of Murdered Children," that appeared in the Monday, November 17, edition of the <A HREF="http://www.startribune.com/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.startribune.com/"><U>Minneapolis Star-Tribune</U></A>:</div> <bR> <div> <B>"Navigating the Pain - Some parents of murdered children have come together for mutual support"</B></div> <bR> <div> ...'Welcome to the club....initiation comes without request or warning, and our membership lasts a lifetime.  We have no secret handshakes, but we recognize the pain in each other's eyes.....and the sorrow, the anger, the depression, and more.  We have no rules because surviving has no rules.</div> <div> ...(Our) meetings are very safe places to be ourselves.  We help each other navigate through grief and the criminal justice system.  We come at first in such need, but time brings us the strength to give back by helping others'</div> <bR> <div> <B>Important resource</B></div> <bR> <div> Few people outside courthouses and police departments have ever heard of Parents of Murdered Children.  But it is well-known, highly regarded, even relied upon among justice system insiders.</div> <bR> <div> Many grief-stricken parents and relatives of murder victims are encouraged by police officers and victim advocates to seek out the group.</div> <bR> <div> The Hope Chapter is located in the Twin Cities, but the organization has also established groups in Rochester and St.Cloud, and has launched a satellite chapter in Brainerd.  The state groups are members of the national Parents of Murdered Children organization, which is based in Cincinnati.</div> <bR> <div> '..there is something about talking to others who have been through this..the pain is so incredible....that is invaluable.  In some ways, some of them can only be helped by people who have experienced it themselves,  said the Director of victim/witness services for the Ramsey County attorney's office.</div> <bR> <div> ...'You can make a new life good, or you can make it bad,..but your old life is over.'</div> <bR> <div> 'Intense feelings of grief may subside, or they many not, but they never completely go away,'  group members said.</div> <bR> <div> '...For the new people here tonight, this in not much consolation.  Here I sit in a bucket of tears 15 years later,' (she) said.</div> <bR> <div> ...'there is something magical for (relatives of murder victims to be around others who really do know just what you feel like...'</div> <bR> <div> <B>Friends Fade Away</B></div> <bR> <div> Many POMC members talk about a surprising and crushing secondary loss they experienced when a loved one was murdered:  abandonment by friends and relatives made uncomfortable by their grieving.</div> <bR> <div> --said a woman who attended (her) church service: "Well, your daughter's been gone for three months.  Get over it."</div> <bR> <div> ...lots of group members have found that the people to whom they looked for help were not capable of comforting them, nor even talking to them about it.  'Many will tell you the friends they had before, they don't have anymore.  That's another major loss in your life....'</div> <bR> <div> The experience and support of veteran members becomes equally important in helping people who recently experienced a murder in their family prepare for the trial of the people accused of killing their children.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Prison Visits</B></div> <bR> <div> ...(some POMC members) have become regular visitors to Minnesota prisons on their own, agreeing to tell inmates how the murders of their children affected them and a wide circle of people.</div> <bR> <div> '...I'm not into forgiveness.  They stole something from us that you can never get back.'</div> <bR> <div> ...'My motivation on these prison visits has always been that if we can get throught to just one prisoner, then we can save another family from what was done to us...'</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="22a32320.jpg" border=0 width="50" height="50" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> </td> </tr></table></body>