Sibling Page

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <A HREF="the_compassionate_friends_minneapolis.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="About us"><U>About us</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id46.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Support Resources"><U>Support & Resources</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id3.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Twin Cities area Minnesota Chapters"><U>Twin Cities area & Minnesota Chapters</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id4.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Thoughts, Poetry, and Reflections"><U>Thoughts, Poetry, and Reflections</U></A></div> <div> <B>Sibling Page</B></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <A HREF="mpls_tcf_special_lives_star.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Special Lives Legacies of our children"><U><IMG SRC="1a131310.jpg" border=0 width="49" height="49" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id20.htm" TARGET="_top" 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VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> <div>  <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Minneapolis Chapter of The Compassionate"><U>home</U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" ><B>Minneapolis Chapter of The Compassionate Friends</B></FONT>     |     <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Minneapolis Chapter of The Compassionate"><U>home</U></A></div> <div> back to  <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Minneapolis Chapter of The Compassionate"><U><B>Minneapolis Chapter of The Compassionate Friends</B></U></A></div> <div> Sibling Page</div> <div>  <A NAME="top_of_page"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A>From past newsletters</div> <div> <U>                                                                                                                 </U></div> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="4" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="503" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 1202 WIDTH="242"><div> <B><U>I Wish</U></B></div> <div> I wish I could watch you work on cars,</div> <div> preparing for a race and being with our friends.</div> <div> I wish I could hear Mom attempt to</div> <div> wake you up, pounding on the floor,</div> <div> hoping you're downstairs.</div> <div> I wish you would ask to borrow money</div> <div> (and never plan to pay it back) or con</div> <div> me out of my car for the night.</div> <div> I wish you could go up north with Dad</div> <div> or be with us on family vacations.</div> <div> I wish you'd be there when I come</div> <div> home on weekends, or come and visit</div> <div> me when I'm at school.</div> <div> I wish I could hear your dry sense of </div> <div> humor or see the look when you're</div> <div> trying to hold back a laugh.</div> <div> I wish you were here to keep the</div> <div> stories going, so I wouldn't need to</div> <div> keep memories alive.</div> <div> I wish I could set a place for you for</div> <div> Thanksgiving dinner or draw your</div> <div> name for Christmas.</div> <div> I wish you could hold your sister's new</div> <div> baby or be the best man at your</div> <div> brother's wedding.</div> <div> I wish I could see your hopes and</div> <div> dreams come true, and we could be</div> <div> there when we need each other.</div> <div> I wish I could hear you say, "I love you"</div> <div> just one more time.</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Lisa DuBois</B></div> <div> <B>TCF-Grand Rapids, MI</B></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>The Sibling Prayer</U></B></div> <div> Beneath the amber glow of the newly </div> <div> rising sun,</div> <div> Or standing on the hillside when the </div> <div> day is done,</div> <div> Riding down the highway when my</div> <div> work day is at an end,</div> <div> or sitting on a park bench, talking to a friend -</div> <div> No matter where I am in life, no matter</div> <div> what my task,</div> <div> Please give me peace of mind, dear</div> <div> Lord, that is all I ask.</div> <div> And when those haunting memories of</div> <div> the night have passed away,</div> <div> Please come rushing in my broken</div> <div> heart, please do not delay.</div> <div> Remind me that he is in a far, far better </div> <div> place.</div> <div> And grant me a glimpse of his hazel</div> <div> eyes and sweet angelic face.</div> <div> Please grant me reassurance that we'll someday meet agian in Heaven's</div> <div> bright tomorrow.  In Your Name I pray.</div> <div> Amen.</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Laur Carpenter</B></div> <div> <B>TCT-Onancok, VA</B></div> <div> <B>The Sibling Newsletter, Summer 1993</B></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>My Brother</U></B></div> <div> I count my lucky stars that he is there-</div> <div> Watching, waiting, never hesitating.For when I fall, he will catch me.</div> <div> Scared no more for what is to come,</div> <div> He faces the morning sun.</div> <div> He looks down on me with a sparkle in</div> <div> his eye.</div> <div> I cry.</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Mike Olson</B></div> <div> <B>TCF</B></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="242"><div> "Those of us who have worked through our</div> <div> grief - and found there is a future -</div> <div> are the ones who must meet others in the valley of darkness and bring them to the rim of light"</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Rev. Simon Stephens</B></div> <div> <B>Founder of The Compassionate</B></div> <div> <B>Friends in England in 1969</B></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>My Angel</U></B></div> <div>        When you died, sister, my</div> <div> world crashed around me.  My other</div> <div> half was ripped away from me.</div> <div> Suddenly there was a gaping hole in</div> <div> my heart.  My days were hard without</div> <div> the light of your presence.</div> <div>      But you proved me wrong,</div> <div> since you are with me.  You show me</div> <div> your presence in many ways.  When I</div> <div> cry and ache for your presence, you</div> <div> visit me in dreams, giving me a taste of </div> <div> Heaven.</div> <div>      You heal my broken heart with</div> <div> your smiles.  Through my dreams, I </div> <div> know you are trying to help me pick up</div> <div> the pieces of my life.  Your presence is</div> <div> felt in other ways.</div> <div>      The scent of your perfume, an</div> <div> echo of your voice, when I am angry or</div> <div> saddened over unanswerable questions.</div> <div> I receive an answer from the wisdom of</div> <div> a friend.</div> <div>      When I am alone and my heart is still,</div> <div> I am filled with an inner peace and joy that can only be from you.</div> <div>       Though you're physically gone, you live with me in my heart.  I know I have an angel to watch over me.  For that angel is you.</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Colleen Burgess</B></div> <div> <B>TCF-Austin, TX</B></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>Christmas Spirit</U></B></div> <div> My brother was full of life; he live each</div> <div> day with utter zest.  He will always be</div> <div> missed by those who love him!</div> <bR> <div> Each time I think of him, I remember</div> <div> his smile and his fortitude.  He wa</div> <div> built of humor and strength.  He had a </div> <div> way of making everyone smile.  I will</div> <div> always remember his laughter and the</div> <div> happiness he brought others.</div> <bR> <div> On Christmas and always, Jonathan is</div> <div> watching over those who love him, and</div> <div> his spirit is with us!</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Kelly Maher</B></div> <div> <B>TCF - Rockland County, NY</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B><IMG SRC="25474790.gif" border=0 width="116" height="121" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <div> graphic courtesy of Gran Gran: <A HREF="http://home.att.net/~scorh/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://home.att.net/~scorh/"><U>http://home.att.net/~scorh/</U></A></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="242"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="16" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="242" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="242"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="16" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="242" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="4" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="523" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 1138 ><NOBR><div> <B><U>There Are Times</U></B></div> <div> There are times</div> <div> When I see a fiery sunset</div> <div> Or the silver glow of the moon,</div> <bR> <div> And I see my brother and</div> <div> feel the peace, as if he still exists.</div> <bR> <div> But these times are few,</div> <div> And most of what I see is -</div> <div> What he is missing.</div> <bR> <div> Cry now, my silent tears,</div> <div> Quietly, so no one hears.</div> <div> They don't know the pain I go through</div> <div> Day after day,</div> <div> And through the years.</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Alissa Roeder</B></div> <div> <B>TCF, Pikes Peak, CO</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B><U>A Tribute</U></B></div> <div> I think of you in silence,</div> <div> My feelings seldom show,</div> <div> But how it hurts to lose you</div> <div> No one will ever know.</div> <bR> <div> I hope there is eternal life,</div> <div> So we can meet again.</div> <div> I not only lost my brother,</div> <div> I lost my very best friend.</div> <bR> <div> The reason you left so early,</div> <div> I'll never understand why.</div> <div> I just wish I'd known you were never </div> <div> coming back,</div> <div> 'Cause I would have said, "Good-bye."</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Martha King</B></div> <div> <B>TCF - Concord, NH</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B><U>My Withering Rose</U></B></div> <div> I saw my rose petal fall today,</div> <div> To the earth where it withered away.</div> <div> Its stem of life will always remain.</div> <div> But the thorns of love shall cause deep pain.</div> <bR> <div> I watched the seed sprout forth to it's birth.</div> <div> The leaves of creation stood nearby</div> <div> To guide the blade, as it thrived so high,</div> <div> Completion came within the hour</div> <div> Where in the center held a flower.</div> <bR> <div> Soon the drops of rain held heaven's tears.</div> <div> And the wind cried with whispering fears.</div> <div> The sun's rays beamed after the showers -</div> <div> A rainbow of hope wrapped the tower.</div> <bR> <div> A rainbow of hope wrapped the tower.</div> <div> A butterfly landed on the bush.</div> <div> And the petal fell with just one push.</div> <div> The petal is apart from the rose.</div> <div> But that is the pathway that God chose.</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Lori Phillips</B></div> <div> <B>TCF - Scranton, PA</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="23b32320.jpg" border=0 width="50" height="50" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="252"><div> <B><U>The Shadows of the Night</U></B></div> <div> I sit alone in the shadows of the night</div> <div> Looking up at the stars that shine so bright.</div> <div> I think of you somewhere far up above.</div> <div> I remember all the laughter, happiness and Love.</div> <bR> <div> The full moon shines bright in the sky.</div> <div> Staring at it's full face, I start to cry.</div> <div> From the face of the moon above the tree,</div> <div> I see your face staring back at me.</div> <bR> <div> Then it starts to rain, and the sky turns gray.</div> <div> I remember what happened two years ago in May.</div> <div> It continued to rain the whole night through.</div> <div> I think that the rain meant that you were crying too.</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Brenda DeLargey</B></div> <div> <B>TCF - St. Clair Shores, MI</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B><U>In Loving Memory of My Little Sister</U></B></div> <div> I remember when mom brought you home that bright summer day, a beautiful bundle of joy.  I looked at you and smiled, when I saw your sparkling eyes and smile that would light the darkest room.  I was so proud to call you my little sister.</div> <bR> <div> As the years went by, you grew up so fast.  One day, I'm lookikng down to talk to you and the next, I'm fighting neck pains from looking up at you.  For being the youngest, you looked to be the oldest.  It was fun going to the mall and have people ask us, if we were twings, or almost argue with us that you were older than I.</div> <bR> <div> Your hair grew long and turned the color of fire - your eyes lare and bright.  Every day, in every way, the closeness, that we shared, grew.  And my love grew even more.</div> <bR> <div> Every day I heard you sing, your voice like none I had ever heard beforer.  I'd swear that I was listening to an angel sing.  I could listen to you all day.  Your voice was made of gold and sent shivers of joy down my spine.</div> <bR> <div> The day, that you left to join a choir in the sky, is the hardest day to forget.  I try so hard to be strong, because I don't want you to see my tears.  It is hard not to cry.  I try to remember how strong you were and tell myself to be too.  I know that where you are, you are with people who love you, as much as I.</div> <bR> <div> I sometimes look back over the years and smile at all of the wonderful memories that I have.  I see your face in my mind and feel the happiness and joy that I felt the day that mom brought you home.  As long as I live, so too shall you.  Nothing will ever charnge the fact that you are and always will be my little sister.</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Dawn Porter</B></div> <div> <B>TCF - Central Iowa</B></div> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="4" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="523" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 507 WIDTH="252"><div> <B><U>All the Things I Miss</U></B></div> <div>      I sometimes think about all the things I miss about my brother.</div> <div>      There are lots - some painful, some I never would have believed that I would miss.  I find that what I miss most are the things that should have been.</div> <div>      I bought my first car the year he would have turned 16.  He should have been here to ask to borrow the keys - not that I would have given them to him - but he should have been here to ask.</div> <div>      He should have been a senior this year, getting ready to face the world with no summer vacations and deciding what to do with his life.</div> <div>      He should be here when I fall in love to tease me and give me his opinion of the man I choose.  He should be here when I have a child - to be a godparent and uncle, friend, and confidant.  He should be here to get married and have kids of his own, so that I could be an aunt and a sister-in-law.  He should be here to celebrate when things are good, and to commiserate when things are bad.</div> <div>      My brother was my friend and my foe in a way that only a little brother can be.  And as I sit here and think about my brother, what I think the most is he should be here.</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> Shannon, TCF Lowell, IN</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="252"><div> <B><U>Why?</U></B></div> <div>      When my sister died, I asked what every surviving sibling most likely asks himself:  Why?  For quite a while this question gave me something to strive for, a purpose to fight for.  But what I soon realized was that there was no use in asking.  That question is irrelevant; the point is moot.  It no longer matters why she died.  The fact remains that she died, and there is nothing I can do to change that, including finding the answer to why.  There is no such answer.</div> <div>      If perchance God would speak to me, would that change anything? If he would say, "Trey, I took your sister because I want her up here in Heaven," what would that mean to me?  I still lost her.  I would still question God's decision.</div> <div>      What it comes down to, however, and although it is hard, we who have lost a sibling must accept the fact that they are now gone.  Put aside the fact of why or how they died, and remember that they once lived and will always be alive in your memory and heart.  Bypass the question of why they died, and instead concentrate on how we should now live.  Remember, they would have wanted it that way.</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> Trey, TCF-Harding County, OH</div> <bR> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 657 WIDTH="252"><bR> <div> <B><U>Love and Time</U></B></div> <div> Time lets you heal.</div> <div> Love lets you remember.</div> <div> Give thanks for love and time.</div> <div> Sasha, TCF-Des Moines, IA</div> <bR> <div> <B><U>A Tribute</U></B></div> <div> I think of you in silence,</div> <div> My feelings seldom show,</div> <div> But how it hurts to lose you</div> <div> No one will ever know.</div> <bR> <div> I hope there is eternal life,</div> <div> So we can meet again.</div> <div> I not only lost my brother,</div> <div> I lost my very best friend.</div> <bR> <div> The reason you left so early</div> <div> I'll never understand why.</div> <div> I just wish I had known you were never     coming back,</div> <div> Because I would have said good-bye.</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> Martha, TCF-Concord, NH</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id15.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Minneapolis Chapter"><U><IMG SRC="1c77c500.gif" border=0 width="124" height="80" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="252"><div> <B><U>Memories of my brother</U></B></div> <div> Why is it so very hard</div> <div> Accepting you are gone;</div> <div> I guess the thought is unbearable</div> <div> And I am not that strong.</div> <bR> <div> I am too afraid to face the truth</div> <div> And scared to feel the pain,</div> <div> Of never seeing your sweet face</div> <div> Or hearing your voice again.</div> <bR> <div> Sometimes I see you in my dreams</div> <div> And picture you still here, till I awaken dreadfully</div> <div> To watch you disappear.</div> <bR> <div> You were always happy and carefree,</div> <div> And I don't understand</div> <div> How you can seem so real to me,</div> <div> As your grasp slips from my hand.</div> <bR> <div> The sixteen years of life you had</div> <div> Somehow do not compare,</div> <div> To the tragic, senseless death you faced</div> <div> And the cross you had to bear.</div> <bR> <div> I try to think of pleasant times</div> <div> And childhood memories,</div> <div> But guilt and sorrow haunt my soul</div> <div> And I cannot break free.</div> <bR> <div> I am sorry for the times we fought</div> <div> And for treating you so badly.</div> <div> I am sorry for ignoring you</div> <div> And wasting  the time we had.</div> <bR> <div> You were and are my brother still.</div> <div> When you took your last breath,</div> <div> A part of me went on with you</div> <div> And I shall mourn your death.</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> Jennifer, TCF-Ellicott City, MD</div> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="http://www.compassionatefriends.org/tcf_sibling_resources.shtml" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.compassionatefriends.org/tcf_"><U><B><U>National TCF Sibling resources page:</U></B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <U>A New Year is For Hope</U></div> <bR> <div> It has been a different number,</div> <div> Days have gone by.</div> <div> We've accumulated more time</div> <div> Between ourselves and our child/sibling's death.</div> <div> We may have rearranged our</div> <div> Perspective -- have different</div> <div> Ideas about what is most</div> <div> Important and what hardly matters.</div> <div> In this New Year, we know that</div> <div> There will be ups and downs, some</div> <div> Good moments and some bad moments.</div> <div> And if we take just one moment,</div> <div> Just one hour just one step at a time -</div> <bR> <div> TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE IT.</div> <bR> <div> <I>Joan Schmidt, TCF, Central Jersey</I><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000000" FACE="arial" > </FONT></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div>  <A NAME="the_compassionate_friends_sibling"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A>The Compassionate Friends Sibling Resources</div> <div>  </div> <bR> <div> <B>BROCHURES: </B></div> <div> <B>When a Brother or Sister Dies </B>and <B>Death of an Adult Sibling </B></div> <div> Designed to help siblings and those around them understand the unique aspects of their grief.</div> <bR> <div> <B>INTERNET: </B></div> <div> <B>Sibling Chat</B></div> <div> This chat is available for adult and teen siblings to share concerns and feelings.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Sibling Forum </B> (a discussion board for bereaved siblings).</div> <div> In many areas of the country there aren't any TCF Siblings groups available.  The Sibling Forum, available online, where siblings from all over can share, help each other cope with the unique grief of losing a brother or sister. Siblings will be able to ask questions, make a comment or leave a thought for other siblings to respond to.  </div> <bR> <div> <B>TCF Sibling Newsletter</B></div> <div> A special edition newsletter for newly bereaved siblings is now available online as an Acrobat file. </div> <div> <I>   </I>. </div> <div> <B>TCF Sibling Pen Pal Program</B></div> <div> This program is offered for bereaved siblings of any age, wishing to meet other siblings with similar interests, hobbies and whose sibling may have had a similar cause of death.  This is an email list of bereaved siblings for The Compassionate Friends that offers one more avenue to communicate with others who are walking the same path of grief.  It is a most rewarding method for our Compassionate Friends to extend the bonds of friendship that we all need so much to help with the heartache of grief.</div> <bR> <div> <B>VIDEO:</B></div> <div> <B>"This Healing Path" TCF Video</B></div> <div> This resource for bereaved siblings, and their parents, grandparents, and professionals addresses issues and concerns important to surviving siblings and those that love them. It offers an excellent opportunity for discussion and sharing. Topics include: Dealing with the reality of the loss; Who will listen; How life has changed; Coping with special days; Visiting the cemetery; Parental over-protectiveness; and Looking toward the future. A discussion guide is included.</div> <bR> <div> <B>BOOK:</B></div> <div> <B>"This Healing Journey" </B></div> <div> An anthology of articles and poetry for bereaved siblings, published by The Compassionate Friends.</div> <bR> <div> <B>NATIONAL MAGAZINE:</B></div> <div> <I><B>"We Need Not Walk Alone" </B></I>     </div> <div>  "We Need Not Walk Alone," published quarterly, our award-winning quarterly magazine, focuses on grief- related issues and features poetry and original articles by bereaved parents, <U>siblings</U>, grandparents and grief professionals. Book reviews, timely information about the national TCF program and reviews of new grief resource materials also appear regularly. </div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Daniel P. Yoffee</B>, <B>Sibling Representative, </B>28 Graywood Dr., Orangeburg, NY  10962  845-359-8411</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>The Compassionate Friends, Inc.  P. O. Box 3696, Oak Brook IL  60522-3696  Toll Free:  877-969-0010</B></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.compassionatefriends.org/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.compassionatefriends.org/"><U><B>www.compassionatefriends.org</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="http://www.campamandaminn.com/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.campamandaminn.com/"><U><U>Camp Amanda offers grief support for kids</U></U></A></div> <div> <I>"When adults lose a loved one, it is often easy to utilize the considerable resources available  to their grief.  or kids, death can be a much more frightening and confusing time.  That's the reason behind the creation of Camp Amanda-Minnesota, a grief camp for ages 6 thru 14." Annandale, MN.  </I>Cost: Free, funded through the Minnesota Funeral Directors Association. Partnered with Camp Amanda of Des Moines, IA,  which was having success in helping children through the grieving process.  The Iowa organization agreed to train Minnesota volunteers and help manage the first grief camp in in Minnesota.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B> <A NAME="new_sibling_page"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B><B>Sibling Pages:</B></div> <bR> <div> <B> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="529" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 1304 WIDTH="171"><div> <B><U> <A NAME="winter_2002_archives"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></U></B><B><U>From "Dancing in the Dark"</U></B></div> <div> The death of a parent severs you from your past; the death of a spouse, from your present; the death of a child, from your future.  The death of a sibling severs you from all three.</div> <bR> <div> A sibling is part of your past and present, and you expect parents to die because they're older.  A spouse doesn't enter your life until adulthood.  Your children, though borne by you, are part of your adult life.  A sibling is apart of your whole life - a sibling is a gift.    -<B>Elsie Newfeld</B></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>Monarch Butterflies</U></B></div> <div> When we were children, Joe, you and I were like caterpillars.  We formed ideas, learned our lessons, and wrapped our cocoons.</div> <div> Then, as young adults, taking our values, we emerged like butterflies set free.</div> <div> Never losing faith and always remaining patient, we sought the flowers of our youth.  The golden sun warmed us.</div> <div> We flew side by side until you became sick with cancer.  Your soul remained strong.</div> <div> Your spiritual wings glowed of the joys of Heaven.  You flew away with the angels, as I prayed for the strength to watch you go.</div> <div> Then, I remembered, you are a Monarch in the presence of God.  </div> <div> My brother, Joe, you have become the most glorious butterfly of all.</div> <div>                  <B>Mary Lario TCF</B></div> <div> <B>                Williamsport, PA</B></div> <div> <B><IMG SRC="1a352490.gif" border=0 width="82" height="73" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><IMG SRC="14548480.gif" border=0 width="72" height="72" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="171"><div> <B><U>It's the Music That Bonds the Soul</U></B></div> <div> The room you once lived in</div> <div> Doesn't look the same.</div> <div> The people, who used to call you,</div> <div> Never mentioned your name.</div> <bR> <div> The car you used to drive,</div> <div> They may not make any more.</div> <div> All the things you once treasured,</div> <div> Are boxed behind closet doors.</div> <bR> <div> The clothes you set the trends by,</div> <div> Are surely out of date.</div> <div> The people, you owed money to, Have wiped away the slate</div> <div> Things have changed and changed</div> <div> Again since you went away.</div> <div> But some things have remained the same each and every day.</div> <div> Like this aching in my heart...</div> <div> A scar that just won't heal,</div> <div> Or the way a special song</div> <div> Can change the way you feel.</div> <bR> <div> Brother, ou must know that the "music" bonds us and will always keep us close.</div> <bR> <div> Because, secretly, I know deep in my heart, it's the music you miss the most.</div> <bR> <div> So let the world keep on turning</div> <div> And "time" can take its toll.</div> <div> For as long as the music keeps playing,</div> <div> You'll be alive and dancing in my soul.</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Stacie Gilliam</B></div> <div> <B>TCF- Oklahoma City, OK</B></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>Rest, My Brother</U></B></div> <div> Rest, my brother, you now have peace.</div> <div> The wars within you all have ceased,</div> <div> And with the rising sun each day,</div> <div> Upon the heaven you will play.</div> <div> Until that day we meet again,</div> <div> Know I love you, my brother, my friend.</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Sandra Evans</B></div> <div> <B>TCF- Kearsarge, NH</B></div> <bR> <bR> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="171"><div> <B><U>Where Does The Sister Come In?</U></B></div> <div> My brother was killed.</div> <div> He was murdered for no reason at all.</div> <div> My pain is so sharp, so close.</div> <div> But THEY think I shouldn't be suffering as much..</div> <div> As much as his wife,</div> <div> who grieves for her love and her future.</div> <div> As much as his son,</div> <div> who will never know his daddy.</div> <div> As much as his parents,</div> <div> who have lost their only son,</div> <div> Their first born, their child.</div> <div> I have lost - my closest friend; the man I admired most in my world; the person I spent most of my free time with - only for the company; the person I played Yahtzee with until 2:00 am, knowing Id beat him soon; the boy I grew up with and followed around constantly; the love that only a brother and sister can know; the respect he had for me; the talks and the personal jokes.</div> <div> I have lost my brother.</div> <div> I hurt just as much.</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Bridgette Huard</B></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>I Carried Him</U></B></div> <div> I went into the school.</div> <div> I felt cold, a feeling of death in the air.</div> <div> My body shook, my knees gave way.</div> <div> I stumbled to his locker.</div> <div> The halls were empty.</div> <div> I looked at the locker.</div> <div> Took too many tries to open it.</div> <div> In front of me were his books, jackets, and papers.</div> <bR> <div> As I cleaned out his locker, tears came.</div> <div> Never felt so alone.</div> <div> Gathered his stuff in my arms.</div> <div> Tears covered my face.</div> <div> Slowly walked down the hall.</div> <div> A feeling-</div> <div> I felt him.</div> <div> He was in my arms.</div> <div> It felt like I was carying his body.</div> <div> I cried, many tears filled my eyes.</div> <div> Thoughts entered my mind -</div> <div> He was no more.</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Donald Freeman</B></div> <div> <B>TCT -Brunswick, ME</B></div> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></B></div> <bR> <div>  <A NAME="archived_from_the_previous_tcf"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A>From Mpls TCF Newsletter</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="4" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="529" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 1200 WIDTH="167"><div> <B><U>Memories</U></B></div> <div> How to go downhill on cross country skis was one of the first things you taught Timmy and me.</div> <bR> <div> Building igloos and riding dirt bikes, dragging us along on steep mountain hikes.</div> <bR> <div> We attended Sunday School and played in the band; spent days at the shore building castles of sand.</div> <bR> <div> Then real downhill skis on a big boulder slope, and when we fell down, you gave us hope.</div> <bR> <div> In high school it seems we drifted apart...too many sport teams and affairs of the heart.</div> <bR> <div> Colleges...Universities...</div> <div> We went separate ways; but later regrouped to enjoy young adult days.</div> <bR> <div> Better relationships...life was just starting.  We had no idea that you'd be departing.</div> <bR> <div> Gone from the slopes where you had so much fun, the three musketeers are now minus one.</div> <bR> <div> We think of your often, especiallly when it snows.</div> <div> Our memories of your, Jim, are like an everlasting rose.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><U>To My Brother</U></B></div> <div> Tears roll from my eyes,</div> <div> As I face the cold rain.</div> <div> No words can be said,</div> <div> That will take away the pain.</div> <div> You had that special something</div> <div> That let me know your cared, </div> <div> And I will be forever grateful</div> <div> For all the times we shared.  </div> <div> As you walk through the fields high above,</div> <div> And come to rest in the shade of a tree,</div> <div> Please, Brother, save a place for me.</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="167"><div> <B><U>Memories</U></B></div> <div> My little brother who loved winter and icicles that are clear, my heart aches and I cry because you are now gone forever.  How did time go by so fast with all the memories we made?  They are everlasting; but without you the world is lonely...and there are no new memories.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><U>Grief</U></B></div> <div> Grief is not an enemy.  Grief is the ceremony of lost treasure.  Grief is the homage you pay to the love you were once blessed to share.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><U>Thanksgiving Grace</U></B></div> <div> I'm supposed to say a Thanksgiving Grace today at the table, but I don't feel very Thanksgiving..What are we supposed to be thankful for?  God took our baby away and we're supposed to still believe in HIM?</div> <bR> <div> The table is set, the turkey smells good and everyone, that is, except my baby brother.  WHY didn't HE let Austin live?  WHY didn't HE help him get better so he could grow up with me?  I don't want to be alone.  I don't want to go to school alone.  I want to be a sister.  I don';t want two turkey legs!</div> <bR> <div> Hey God, I'm talking to You!  Can You hear me?  WHY don't you answer???</div> <bR> <div> Or do You, and sometimes I just can't hear?  Well anyway, I guess I'm thankful for the little while he was here.  We did have fun sometimes.  So, Thanks, God, for the little while.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div>  <A NAME="typewriter"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A><A HREF="minnapolis_compassionate_friends.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A warm welcome"><U><IMG SRC="16754460.gif" border=0 width="84" height="70" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="167"><div> <B><U>What Will Happen to Us?</U></B></div> <div> My sister died last summer.  Mom cries.  Dad sits in his chair - staring into space, channel surfing, or sleeping.  Nobody talks about her.  It hurts too much.  What is happening to us?</div> <bR> <div> Grandma invited us to Thanksgiving dinner.  Mom doesn't want to go.  She cries.  Dad just sits in his chair.  "Maybe we should go; it would help us feel better," I said.  Nobody answers.  What has happened to us?</div> <bR> <div> Mom doesn't want to have Christmas.  "But Christmas was her favorite time of the year," I say, "She would want us to have Christmas."  Mom is standing at the sink pretending to wash dishes, but I can tell she is crying.  Dad just sits silently in his chair.  A  tear trickles down his cheek.  What will happen to us?</div> <bR> <div> I go to my room.  Quietly, I close the door.  I am so lonely.  My whole being aches with grief.  I wish we could go to Grandma's.  I wish we could have Christmas, but nothing will ever be the same without her.  I don't know what to do.  What will happen to us?</div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="16367670.gif" border=0 width="103" height="103" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="165679b0.gif" border=0 width="103" height="155" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <U>Sibling Forum</U>:  In many areas of the country there aren't any TCF siblings groups available.  The sibling forum is a place where siblings from all over can share and help each other cope.  This is not a public board; interested siblings will need to request the password from the national web site:</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <I><B>The Sibling Credo</B></I></div> <div> <I>We</I><I> </I><I><B> <A NAME="are"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B></I><I>are the surviving siblings of The Compassionate Friends. We are brought together by the deaths of our brothers and sisters. Open your hearts to us, but have patience with us. Sometimes we will need the support of our friends. At other times, we need our families to be there. Sometimes we must walk alone, taking our memories with us, continuing to become the individuals we want to be. We cannot be our dead brother or sister; however, a special part of them lives on with us. </I></div> <div> <I>When our brothers and sisters died, our lives changed. We are living a life very different from what we envisioned, and we feel the responsibility to be strong even when we feel weak. Yet we can go on because we understand better than many others the value of family and the precious gift of life. Our goal is not to be the forgotten mourners that we sometimes are, but to walk together to face our tomorrows as surviving siblings of The Compassionate Friends. </I></div> <div> <I>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</I></div> <div> <A HREF="#top_of_page" TITLE="Sibling Page"><U><B>top of page</B></U></A></div> <div>  <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Minneapolis Chapter of The Compassionate"><U>home</U></A></div> </td> </tr></table></body>